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Saturday, October 16, 2010
Mothers retreat Nicholeen Peck.
I went to a mothers retreat last night and it was on honoring our husbands. It was really good and so I am going to tell you some of the things that we talked about as well as some of my own thoughts.
Nicholeen Peck talked about being real and not trying to make our marriage into what the world, or other people thinks it should look like. We talked about how we already know what kind of wives we need to be and that if we have things to change that that decision is be between you, your husband, and God. No one else matters.
We talked about how our supreme good, our very best good, in this life should be our marriage. And if it is not then we need to fix that. Do what it takes to get there. How you ask? Well that will take a lot of prayer and pondering on your part. There is not an easy answer. One way that was talked about through out the retreat is to serve your husband and then your heart will change towards him. There is a scripture that says that we love those we serve. Well, when we serve others it is not them that changes it is our hearts that change.
We also talked about myths.
Myth #1 Being and having the kind of marriage that the world says is right. Only you your husband and God knows what kind of a marriage will make you and your husband happy.
Myth #2 I have been married so long that he knows what I am thinking. (or I know what he is thinking) We will never be able to know what the other person is thinking so communication is the highest law when it comes to knowing what the other person is thinking and feeling. Never assume that we know or that he knows.
Myth #3 Men should have to do all of the hard uncomfortable work. Don't make him do everything that is hard however, we need to find a balance because we need to not do every thing. I know I know we are supper moms and wives and we can do it all. I am the same way but it is my job to let my husband be a man and do things that are men things. I find that it is a good thing to just communicate and see what it is that he may need your help in. But again let him do man things. Let him take care of you, let him fix things, let him lift those heavy things. He likes to do them it makes him feel like a man. It is our job to give them that. Also let him know when you need something from him. He wont ever know unless you tell him.
Myth #4 They are just another one of the kids. Our husbands are not our children and we should get out of the mind set of this. You are not his mother you are his companion, his help meet. He is not in charge of you and you are not in charge of him. There should be a mutual respect and not a dominant one. If there are issues then you talk through those. You should not yell, call names, or hurt your spouse in anyway. When you should not fight. You should not even talk to each other till you are both calm and have no hurt feelings or can handle those feelings. You need to be able to talk through those feelings or issues in a way that doesn't hurt the other person. Our goal is to come to an understanding with out hurting your spouse. This is the higher law and it should be our goal to communicate and express ourselves without putting each other down. That only does more harm to both people. Them because of what you said and you because of the regret. We need to get to a higher place where we only want to help our partner and not find ways to hurt or get even with him/her. We also talked about if there is a problem in the family let him solve it. He is the leader in the home and we should let him solve those problems. Yes we can help is he wants or asks us to but let HIM ask and not just take over.
I really loved this class Nicholeen is an amazing speaker/discussion leader I have enjoyed her every time I have ever gone to any of her classes. Thanks Nicholeen sense I know you will probably read this. : )
Nicholeen Peck talked about being real and not trying to make our marriage into what the world, or other people thinks it should look like. We talked about how we already know what kind of wives we need to be and that if we have things to change that that decision is be between you, your husband, and God. No one else matters.
We talked about how our supreme good, our very best good, in this life should be our marriage. And if it is not then we need to fix that. Do what it takes to get there. How you ask? Well that will take a lot of prayer and pondering on your part. There is not an easy answer. One way that was talked about through out the retreat is to serve your husband and then your heart will change towards him. There is a scripture that says that we love those we serve. Well, when we serve others it is not them that changes it is our hearts that change.
We also talked about myths.
Myth #1 Being and having the kind of marriage that the world says is right. Only you your husband and God knows what kind of a marriage will make you and your husband happy.
Myth #2 I have been married so long that he knows what I am thinking. (or I know what he is thinking) We will never be able to know what the other person is thinking so communication is the highest law when it comes to knowing what the other person is thinking and feeling. Never assume that we know or that he knows.
Myth #3 Men should have to do all of the hard uncomfortable work. Don't make him do everything that is hard however, we need to find a balance because we need to not do every thing. I know I know we are supper moms and wives and we can do it all. I am the same way but it is my job to let my husband be a man and do things that are men things. I find that it is a good thing to just communicate and see what it is that he may need your help in. But again let him do man things. Let him take care of you, let him fix things, let him lift those heavy things. He likes to do them it makes him feel like a man. It is our job to give them that. Also let him know when you need something from him. He wont ever know unless you tell him.
Myth #4 They are just another one of the kids. Our husbands are not our children and we should get out of the mind set of this. You are not his mother you are his companion, his help meet. He is not in charge of you and you are not in charge of him. There should be a mutual respect and not a dominant one. If there are issues then you talk through those. You should not yell, call names, or hurt your spouse in anyway. When you should not fight. You should not even talk to each other till you are both calm and have no hurt feelings or can handle those feelings. You need to be able to talk through those feelings or issues in a way that doesn't hurt the other person. Our goal is to come to an understanding with out hurting your spouse. This is the higher law and it should be our goal to communicate and express ourselves without putting each other down. That only does more harm to both people. Them because of what you said and you because of the regret. We need to get to a higher place where we only want to help our partner and not find ways to hurt or get even with him/her. We also talked about if there is a problem in the family let him solve it. He is the leader in the home and we should let him solve those problems. Yes we can help is he wants or asks us to but let HIM ask and not just take over.
I really loved this class Nicholeen is an amazing speaker/discussion leader I have enjoyed her every time I have ever gone to any of her classes. Thanks Nicholeen sense I know you will probably read this. : )
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