Fasting and Laying My Burdens at Christs Feet.

   

Lately I have been struggling with a lot of things. My testimony is strong that the LDS church is true. I am so thankful for a living prophet and I am blessed to know that because of my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ I can one day live with Him as well as my Father in Heaven once more. That being said, the scriptures tell us to "Come unto me, all [ye] that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls. For my yoke [is] easy, and my burden is light."  As well as "Cast your burdens upon the Lord" Psalms 55:22
  The Scriptures tell us to do these things and at church they also explain what it means by yoke yourselves to Christ. My problem is that I don't really know how. I do all of the right things,
   Pray, Scriptures, FHE, serve, fast once a month, temple, pay tithing and fast offering, have tried to live the Word of Wisdom ,I am talking about the dos of the Word of Wisdom. The do not's are not a problem for me.
   Then why am I feeling stuck? How do I yoke myself to Him and how does one go about laying burdens at His feet and leaving them there? I have read about trapped emotions and I am also learning about the benefits of meditation. I believe that there are benefits to these things. I guess what I am really looking for is the reasons why I am feeling this way. How do I fix and heal my spirit. How do I feel that the Spirit with me at all times?
  This morning I went to a baptism and the Spirit was SOOOO strong!!! The movie was showing of all of the miracles that Christ did while on the earth and the thought came to me that just as he healed the women with an issue of blood, just as he healed the blind, and the lame. He can continue to heal and does continue to heal as long as we trust in him. And if it is pleasing unto him, he can and will according to our faith heal us especially when it comes to healing our spirits. It was a tender mercy and I wanted to feel that closeness of the Spirit to last forever. When I got home and went about my day the feeling slowly became my normal. There has to be a way that I can have that all of the time. I know this because Romans 2:10-11 Says "Glory, honour, and peace, to every man that worketh good, to the Jew first, and also to the Gentile: For there is no respect of persons with God."
This is a tender mercy and shows that God loves ALL of us the same. He doesn't pick and choose whom He feels deserves, He does not have favorites. His love is here for all of us both bond and free both male and female, old and young. He does not favor Joseph Smith, President Monson, or Peter, James, John, Mary, Martha, Alma, Nephi, I could go on and on, the point is that my Father in Heaven loves ME just as much as He loves them!!! My quest is to figure out how to let go of my natural man and figure out how to truly understand HOW to lean on Him, hear Him, and love Him as He has told us we should do. I may be writing about my journey here which is the reason I have written all of this. Some may just be for me and I will not publish if it is to personal. Everthing else in order for me to "process" I believe writing down what I am feeling is going to be a huge part of learning to do this. I have already started to fast tonight. I feel that I am supposed to do a full 24 hour fast from food and water. After which I believe in order for me to truly gain understanding and direction I will continue to fast from food and make sure to drink a lot of water to keep hydrated after that. I have no idea how long I will fast for but I believe it may be for a few days anyways. I am really going to try and follow the Spirit. The longest I have ever fasted in the past has been for 4 days. We shall see how long the Lord would have me fast before I get my answers.
  Much love, Emily

Thoughts and Feelings As Another School Year Ends.

  I know that you probable should not blog when you are emotional, but I need to just let me feelings out. I feel a little lost. I know that God has a plan for me. I know that He loves me and that as I try to rely on Him, He guides my way. That being said as this year comes to a close and my children are home for the summer I am happy to be with them again. At the same time I dread next August as the children all go back. My baby will be in school full time and I can't help but ask myself if my mission in this life is to really just be here in the house by myself cleaning. When she was gone for half a day it was not so bad because I spent time in prayer, scriptures, and getting my exercise in then when that was all done it was time to pick her up.  I felt like I was still important I was still spending most of my time influencing her and doing important things. I feel like I am mourning as I realize that in a few short months, as my children leave my home to go out into the world once more, all of them full time, that my time will be spent waiting. I don't want my life to be spent home alone most of the time then the rest of the time still doing their agenda in school work and  undoing the mess that the children get from school. I also feel caught between a rock and a hard place because all around me from my husband to my mother they are all very happy that I have put them all in school. I don't feel like it is the wrong thing to do I just don't know my next step and that is hard. I know that I am of worth and that my calling in this life will be more then just cooking and cleaning. This is what I picture in my mind as all of my children will be in school full time.
  I thought that it was hard having them home all of the time, but I was grateful to have that opportunity. Knowing that they will all be gone is harder by far. I feel like my value has been knocked down a few notches. Before I had a great reason to be home. I was teaching and training and installing value and morals into my children. Now I don't know what I will do and it is hard to deal with how this makes me feel.
  Much love, Emily

What am I doing with all of my TIME!!! Part 1

  You may be wondering what I have been doing now that the kids are all in school. I do house work even though most of the time it looks like I don't. I really thought that my home would stay clean but alas, the children are still home enough to make it look like they are home all of the time.  I don't think I would be happy if it looked like a museum all of the time. And I am happy to know that they are home enough to still make happy little messes.
  I also do projects around the house. I have learned how to paint counter tops and I actually like them!!!

 

Here are the before and after pictures of my kitchen counter tops.

And our master bathroom. I still need to touch up the paint but I love how they turned out.

 

We had water damage in our master bathroom and we had to pull the shower, tub, carpet out of the room. I painted and then we had it redone. It was the longest 3 weeks not having our own shower. I know that I am just spoiled but I am worth it. LOL my friend Michele Davis used to say that. I will post about her later.

The floors and tub/shower was all done by someone other them myself. I painted the sink, counter, cabinets, and walls. I am almost done in this room. I love it in there!!! I am trying to be patient while the rest of the house is being done.

 Here are a few more pictures of work that I have done while the children have been in school.

 I am working on the upstairs. When we purchased this house the walls were full of holes. I am slowly fixing all of them. I also am going to be putting down paper bag flooring. If you would like to see what that is just google images.

This is our yard. I am working on putting a path in from the driveway to the front door.

I am thinking something like this! ;0)

I love the Tuscan look and this is what I painted my living room.

More of the upstairs.

I painted the kitchen cabinets also.

This is what they were before.

 

That is a little bit of what I have been doing while the children are at school. I will continue with a second part of what I have been doing while the kids have been gone and also some trials that I have gone through and how I have been getting through them.

 Much love, Emily

Its been a while and how times change

   Last school year I was having "one of those days" where it was just one fight after another with school. In my frustration I told my older girls that they needed to go and pray about what they should do.  I told them that it was their life and that they needed to seek counsel from the Lord to fulfill their lives missions.
  My second to the oldest actually did what I had said and about two months before school started she told me that she had done what I has told them to do.
  I was shocked and surprised because I sometimes think that they don't hear or listen to me.  I asked what her answer was. She said that she was supposed to go to public school.  I said out loud "well that was the wrong answer" (being a little sarcastic)  and told her that I too would pray about what she should do.
  Steve and I also prayed about what she should do and we both got that she should indeed go to school.
  This through me for a loop!!!! I went into questioning if I was really doing the right thing for my children by keeping them home. And seeking answers for the rest of my children. This was a very hard time for me. I wanted to do what was right for them and put my pride aside. Not an easy thing to do!!! I really did take pride in being a home school mom. After much prayer, crying, seeking counsel and guidance from both heaven and my mother, and husband, I came to the conclusion that I was going to put my kids that don't struggle in school and focus on my two that do struggle. I thought that this is what I was going to do but something just didn't feel quite right. I was taking my oldest to an activity and she refused to get out of the car. She yelling said "I SEE THESE PEOPLE ONCE A WEEK AND THAT IS ENOUGH!!!" I was not a happy camper. She goes to church with these youth and they have activities during the week so that they can have fun together. I told her that being with others her age once a week for 2 hours was not enough and thought that maybe going to school would teach her the importance of being around other youth her age. I took her down there and told her to lets just go in and see what we both think. We met one of her teachers and her counselor. When we left we both felt like that was the right thing to do. So, now it is just me and my son. Well, we ended up putting him in as well. I would be lying if I told you that I didn't feel like I was a failure, also that my purpose was now gone. "What am I going to do now?" and "Was it ever right?" and so many more things. I didn't understand why I was not supposed to teach anyone!
  Now lets fast forward to October. We decided that we were going to purchase a house again and so we started looking. We were shown this house that was being foreclosed and it was A MESS!!!!! However, something was drawing me to it and I told Steve that we needed to see the house when it was up on the market. We were only able to look through the windows. Time passed by and we continued to look at other houses. One day as we were looking for new houses on the market that house was there. Steve and I looked at the house the next day and we knew that we were supposed to get that house. It was a rocky process but every time we were going to give up and just keep looking a calm reassurance would pass by us, and we would say to one another that it will all work out. In February we closed on the house. There was a lot of work to be done we knew that  but it was ok. After we moved in we found that there were a few issues with the house that we did not expect. And things came clear to me!!! I just have to say that God is smarter then me and knows that I could not have home schooled and delt with this house all at the same time.
  I am so very grateful for a Father in Heaven who loves me and answers my prayers even when I don't want to hear the answer. I am grateful to have had the experience home schooling. I don't know what the future holds so I may or may not home school again. I am grateful for a patient spouse who loves me even through my rocky times.

Here is our home when we first purchased it.

 

My School Schedule for 2012-2013

I thought that I would post my school schedule. I know that a few of you who are new to my blog are interested in my schedule. I know that it is important to do have balance in our lives. I am still working on that. I have the type of personality that can get caught up in just one or two things and let the rest of my life fall by the wayside (friends). Sorry about that you know who you are.  Anyways, so here is my schedule because I get crazy about time and staying on track I have decided to not put times by the activity. It has worked better for me. School ends when everything is wiped off of the white board.
 5:00 Mom wakes up (This is the only time)
 1-Dress and Exercise
 2-Make bed, shower, dress
3- Prayer and personal scriptures for me and my two older girls
4- Everyone wakes up and cleans their rooms and gets dressed
5-Chores for kids, mom makes breakfast
6- Eat and clean up breakfast
7-Devotional
    a)Pledge
    b)Songs 3
        -Patriotic
        -Learn new song out of Hymn book
        -Primary song or any song the kids choose*
    c)Prayer
   d)Scriptures
   e)Memorization
   f)Journals
8-School time
9- Lunch and clean up
10-Piano for Sugar and everyone else does their reading or do independent work while I read to the little kids.
11-Then Spice does her piano (this is only until I can find a guitar teacher for her then they will do her lessons at the same time as Sugar.)
Sugar does her independent work and then we go back to family learning.
12-Family learning
13-Kids finish any subjects that need to be completed.
14-Free time, Mom reads a few minutes
15-Dinner
16-Night time routine
  *The kids have their own days. So when it is the child's day they get to lead in the pledge, pick the songs, say the prayer, read first when we do scriptures, etc.
 *Family learning- There are a few subjects that we learn together. The reason is because they all have to know it, and if we do it in rotation then all of the kids get it and we can all learn as a group. This is important because it teaches the children how to listen, how to think and express their thoughts, it will help them form their own oppinion and express it as well as ask questions. It lets me know what they are thinking and what they are retaining, it also lets me know if there is something in a subject that a child wants to know more about, as well as gives me the opportunity to explain words that they might not know.
  Some of the family learning subjects are
 - History (We love The Story of the World by Susan Wise Bauer)
 - Science (We are useing Exploring Creation by Jeannie K. Fulbright)
 - Literature (Our first read alouds are Swiss Family Robinson, Mr. Poppers Penguins, Red Scarf Girl)
 - Projects and of corse Field Trips (This Friday we are going to The Voices of Civil War at This is the Place.)
 There are a few things that the kids are doing that the schedule wont work for but outside of those few days this is our schedule.
  Just so you know not every day looks like this but my goal is to get it so that most of my days look like this. For the school year.We are still in the process of forming habits.
   "If you don't aspire toward greatness, you cannot achieve greatness."
Chalene Johnson

What I learned today from running.

 I have been learning to go out of my comfort zone when it comes to my physical fitness. I have started running and that has always been hard for me. When I stated running I had the frame of mind   that over time I will get stronger and I will be able to run longer and faster. I can now run for 3 miles at a slow pace and not stop. I realized today that I am in a comfort zone again and that in order to make progress I need to get used to not being in that comfort zone.
  I also thought about the other aspects of my life while I was running. In order for me to progress I need to get used to being out of that zone in all aspects of my life. If I want to become great and accomplish great things in my life I will have to do hard things.
 We are not here to stay comfortable. We are here to progress and learn. The only way that we can do that is to get used to doing hard things and getting out of our personal comfort zones then stand up for those choices.

TJEd My Way. Part 1

I have a dear friend who disagrees with the Thomas Jefferson Education. As I have been thinking about this (because I do TJEd) I had to take a deep look into why it is that I believe that it is good for me and my family. I will give you my take on the 7 keys of great teaching. The first that I think people have problems with is Key number 3 inspire not require. As I was pondering this key, part of me was thinking that it takes more then just inspiring my children to get them to learn. Then I heard another friend say that when you home school it is really your education and your children are along for the ride. That hit me so hard as truth. Yes, we do the three Rs more now with my older then with my younger children. My oldest went to school for a while and she was NOT ready. I have tried to make her learn what the public school kids her age are learning and we both get SOOOO fustrated. By the time we are done there are a lot of tears from the both of us. Through LOTS of prayer and pondering and guidance. She is now ASKING to do math, spelling, typing and other things that interest her. Yes, she is a lot older then most her age from where she is starting but I know that she will catch up because she wants to,and not because I require her. This is truly a blessing that she is ready and wanting to learn on her own! It has taken a long time but now that she is ready I know that she will actually value and understand what she learns. I have learned that when you introduce a subject and try to push it, like I did, that just creates fustration, tears, and broken relationships. I do introduce them to things. This is where I take a few minutes and read or do math or whatever and then tell them about it. Me AND THEM! We also play games and read books and do all sorts of things. It is our job to cultivate what it is our children are interested in. Daniel wants to scuba dive when he gets older and so Steve took him snorkling at Sea Base where he was able to experience swimming with salt water fish. Some of the sea life he was able to experience inclued Nurse Sharks, Stingrays, Angle Fish, Tuna, and a number of other fish. However, if a child is not ready for a concept and we try again at a later date then there will not be the tears and fustration connected with not being ready. When we take the time to learn ourselves then we can show them how it looks and feels to learn about things that interest us. A note about older children. Scholar phase children it is inspire AND require. With younger children they are also required to do some things as well. My children have to all sit through devotional even though my youngest is in and out, they are also required to do family chores. For me it is inspire until they can grasp new concepts. Again, when they are not ready and you force them it only creates fustration. If you mentor and the child sets goals and interest then they are required to follow through with what they said they would do. This is how I see this Key of teaching.