ok so kellie and i were able to go to the mothering convention yesterday. special thanks to sara for babysitting for me. anyways, it was so good i thought that id share.
the first class i took was by dr. paula fellingham, the class was called how to be a joyful,confident, influential mother. some of the points that she said were
- be happy and spend quality and quantity time with your family.
- dont allow lifes sorrows to drag you down and make you unhappy. look for the good in life!
-thoughts become reality
- talk postitive to your children "you know im surprised that you hit your brother. you usually dont do that because you are a good boy!"
- self approval you can only give what you own. we are here to learn how to love.
- the mirror is not you! dont be your own worst enemy.
there is more but i stopped taking notes because she said that she is going to email us the talks. that she gave. i am sooo excited about that so keep posted as i will copy and past what she talked about. : ) it was way good.
she has a few books her name is paula noble fellingham and one of her books as called solutions for families. 24 lessons to strengthen relationships at home.
the second class was given by debbie bowen. it was based on her book called
W.O.R.K. - wonderful oppurtinities for raising responsible kids
she says when teaching your kids to work to
-be firm
-be fair
-be flexible
-be patient
-be tolerant - dont expect perfection the first few times and if you have to redue something that your child cleaned DONT let them see you do it.
-make sure that they do the best that they can
-include your little ones
-be specific
-have them be accountible
the 6 Ds to delegation
1. decide 2. dont be to lenient, 3. divide 4, deliberate, demonstrate, dont do it for them!
-have consequences for chores not done. and after the consequence is done have them do the chore.
-every behavior had a consequence good or bad!
- make sure that the consequence fits the crim and the crimenal
agian there was more but it took two class times and i have had her book for a while and love it but that is what she was talking about.
class 3 and 5 were about how to build a routine and how to organize she is almost like the flylady.net and their website is myheartandhome.com
class 5 was by dr. paula fellingham again it was discipline without tears for improved behavior and straingthened relationships
in this class she says
-say yes as much as possible!!! i have been doing this and it is great so far.
"the kids asked if they could color thismorning before church and i said "yes right after you get ready for church." lastnight they asked if they could have a treat and i said yes right after dinner tomorrow. but right now it is time for bath and bed." you get the point
-if you have a child that wants something and you dont have it make the conversation go something like this. i actually had this conversation with cor lastnight.
cor " i only got a small piece of cake for the birthday party."
mom " im sorry about that. if i had a cake it would be as big as this room and we could eat it and smash it and sit on it."
cor " we could make toys out of it and we could carve diffrent thing."
the conversation went on and then i took a turn with martha and she wanted the cake to be pink strawberry. anyways, it was a good time and the kids and i got to use our immagination and had good conversation. and the kids went to bed without complaint. : )
for older children you basically do the same thing so for instance if your child comes in in a bad mood then first be persistant with getting it out of them.
"are you ok son?" "no" " are you sure that you are ok?" "yes" " if you need to talk i am here." " ok the other kids at school were making fun of my car at school and i worked really hard for that car." "well if i had the money i would buy you a cool yellow sunbird." "no i want a red corvet." "ya with a red boat to match." so on and sense you have been doing this when they were younger they will play the game with you and feel better.
again i stopped taking notes because she is going to email me the rest of her talk. it was very good and i will look for her books on ebay:)
so the next class was about getting the body you want.
her website is whatstopsyou.com
she talks about
-wieght loss is 60%-70% self talk and only 30%-40% diet and exercise.
-we deserve our bodies
-we have an uncontious mind its what we use to not roll off of our beds at night. its what we use to keep our kids safe. she went on to say that we need to use this part of our mind to also loose weight. and we shouldnt say we need to loose weight anymore because our uncontious mind dosent want to loose anything. we dont want to loose our kids we dont want to loose our keys purse anything to we need to say to ourselves and others i am letting to of 30 lbs 40 lbs... we can let go our uncontious minds like that a lot better.
-who are you with our your body? close your eyes and pretend that you dont have a body. how are you what do you like and what do you like to do? you are not your body you are you and your body is just the thing that makes us go it hold our soul. again she said that we deserve our bodies and she went on to say that we have to let go of our excuses. "my parents were heavy so i am to." " i cant loose weight when i am nursing." " i have to much to loose and i just cant do it."
i want to print this and have it on my wall.
*** WE ARE WHAT WE COME FROM. WE CAME FROM GOD AND WE WERE MADE IN HIS IMMAGE. AGAIN WE ARE WHAT WE COME FROM!
-what you believe is what you become. if you believe you can let go of the extra weight then you will and if your self talk is that you cant then you are right!
-then actions and skills
you have to move to be healthy and fit so there is a balence to it all.
thinking, action, what you believe
you also need to start seeing yourself correct.
and as you eat how full are you? from one to ten? one is starving and ten is stuffed. it was really good!!!
she also has a book its called what stops you? from having the body you want? overcome self savotage by darlene braden look on ebay if its not there then check her website.
ok the last class was finding joy in the kitchen.
she says make lists and menues get the food on menu and keep your food organized for easy finds. dont spend hours in the kitchen and have the meal prep involve more than just you. teach your children how to cook and enjoy the time and enjoy the food. it was all so good.: ) and i will do my best to get organized and teach my kids to love and obey. i will also learn to love myself better and to find joy in the journey. i feel like i can take on the world. well my life and family anyways, if you want to know more about what i learned go ahead and call me. : )
by for now! emily
